The Birds and The Bees

I asked a few friends about their experiences with sexual education from their schools and from their parents.

A male friend of mine shared his experience as follows;

“In seventh grade everyone in my grade was split up into three groups with both girls and boys. We all sat down and were taught by a random presenter from some random organization. They showed us videos about condoms, birth control, and STD’s. That was the extent of what we were taught. My parents never taught me anything about sex, sexual intimacy, the birds and the bees, so I never had “the talk”. 

A female friend of mine shared her experience as follows;

In ninth grade my school taught the boys and girls combined. We were taught about the male and female sex organs and how they function and how to use them. We were also taught about STD’s, birth control, and condoms, the instructor told us that sex was good and that we should participate in it, but we should be safe and use protection while doing so. We watched a video of a women giving birth, to reinforce the idea of using protection. We were required to memorize and be able to name female and male sex organs. When I was 12 my mom sat me down to have “the talk”. She began by reading The Proclamation to The Family. She explained to me the importance of sex and procreation, she made it evident that sex is not disgusting or nasty, but that it is a part of Heavenly Fathers plan. She told me that people might try to convince me that it’s just for fun, but that I should always remember that it is only meant to be used between husband and wife, and that is used to create life and build Heavenly Fathers kingdom. 

When I was in eighth grade my health class had a lesson on the reproductive organs of males and females. We simply learned what they were and were they were located. We were taught about using condoms to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. My parents never talked to me about sex or anything relating to it. However, I grew up with the knowledge that sex was meant to be between a husband and wife and that it was used to bring children into the world.

Everyone has different experiences with the birds and the bees talk. Some learn too much too fast and some don’t learn anything at all until it’s a little too late. Obviously, I have no authority to tell anyone how they should educate their kids about sex. But I think there is definitely a perfect balance between too much and none at all. 

The church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has a guide to teaching your children about intimacy. It is simply called A Parent’s Guide. The guide is 52 pages long and is composed into six chapters. 

1.    Intimacy and the Purposes of Earthly Families

2.    Principles for Teaching Children

3.    Teaching Infants and Toddlers: from Birth to Approximately Three Years

4.    Teaching Children: from Four to Eleven Years

5.    Teaching Adolescents: from Twelve to Eighteen Years

6.    Mature Intimacy: Courtship and Marriage

The introduction gives a summary of the purpose of this guide. “First, study chapters 1 and 2 to learn the principles that provide the foundation for the succeeding chapters. Chapter 3 explains ways in which you can teach infants and toddlers to understand and feel good about being a boy or a girl. Chapter 4 explains ways in which you can teach children from four to eleven years of age the physical and spiritual information they need to know about human intimacy. Chapter 5 suggests ways in which you can help your teenagers understand and properly deal with their growing attraction for the opposite sex. Chapter 6 explains ways in which you can help young adults to make their courtships most valuable and prepare for the intimacies of marriage.”

I hope that someday I can teach my children in a way that is informative and won’t leave them feeling uneasy. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.