date. court. engage. marry.

 

Many people of this day and age date differently than what has shown to work best. You go on dates with someone and get to know them quickly. You trust them right away without fully knowing who they are, where they come from, and what they believe in. But even more, you give them full opportunity to physical affection before you can even get to know what their favorite color is. At this point you have probably committed to them much sooner than necessary leaving you a bit trapped. After only three weeks of knowing each other you are now exclusively dating each other. You may never get passed the skin-deep knowledge as you continue to express your undying love for them. Soon you talk about what it would be like to be married. You fantasize about your future, your dress, his tux, the babies. Soon enough you’re ring shopping, dress shopping, and planning a wedding all at once. Next thing you know 4 months after meeting you are sealed for all time and eternity in the Rexburg Idaho temple. Now onto the rest of your lives!! Congratulations!!

This may sound like the perfect fairytale to some, but maybe there is a way to make this scenario even more of a fairytale… 

Consider starting by dating this person, while continuing to go on dates with other people. Get to know as many people as you can and really learn to appreciate every aspect and personality trait of each individual. Go on a variety of dates to continue to get to know this person in as many situations as you can. The only way to know if they are the person you should continue to date is with the three T’s. Togetherness, Talk, and Time. Be together but do so with purpose. Put yourself into different situations with this person and see how you can react together. Talk, talk in ways that will help you get to know this person and what they want for their future without planning a wedding right then and there. Time spend quality time together doing things that are worthwhile.

When you have chosen one of the people from your many dates, you begin courtship. Courtship is much different than dating. At this point you would be considered boyfriend and girlfriend and you begin to date each other with marriage in mind. During courtship you dive deeper into getting to know each other. Find out what they see for their future children, see how they want their life to play out in the next five years. Women and men who date often date with no intention of commitment or considering marriage to the other person. While a man and a woman only enter in to the stage of courtship when both are ready to make a commitment to each other and to marriage.

 Next you enter into engagement. He pops the question, puts a ring on ya, and now you’re really on your way. At this point there are some new and unique opportunities that you as an engaged couple get to partake in. You get to plan your first big event, the wedding reception. You decide on colors, and cake, and flowers, and music and location and so forth. You get to see where you agree and disagree and where you can both improve. You also have the opportunity to plan a honeymoon and figure out expenses that come along with it. You start to budget together and figure out living arrangements and expenses. You discuss where you want your education’s and careers to end up and much more. As an engaged couple you do all of this while continuing to date each other frequently. Continue to go out and dates and sped quality time getting to know your fiancé.

Finally, the day comes, and you’re married! Married life brings along many new opportunities and challenges. But no matter the circumstance never stop dating your now spouse. Always spend time getting to know them better and understanding them. Get out and do things together for the rest of your eternity.