Some more on family theories

Just as I discussed in last week’s blog, there are many different theories about families that are widely accepted as truths among members of society. Theories are an attempt to explain a natural phenomenon. The three that I will be addressing are conflict theory, exchange theory, and symbolic interaction theory.

Conflict theory first began with Karl Marx. His studies put an emphasis on the inequality between classes and the consequences it had in societies. He assumed that over time the lower classes would become and feel so oppressed that they would take over the higher classes. Other scholars added things like love ownership and jealousy to the mix and focused more on conflict in the family. Lewis Coser, a German Sociologist, said “Conflict can solidify a group as well as promote cohesion and adaptability because dealing with conflict brings flexibility to a systems structure and increases its capacity to change.” Conflict theory simply explained is that there will always be conflict in relationships, friendships, or any other type of unit. To go into a little more depth, it is often the struggle for power between the individuals of these different types of units. When people are halted from reaching their own goals because of other family members and their opposing goals this creates tension in the unit and the feeling of competition. Although it is classified as a theory, conflict theory is very real in most family units. So, we must find ways to resolve conflict, not avoid. Realizing that there are competing ideas is the first step, and then realizing that both ideologies are valid will have you well on your way to easing the tension that conflict brings.

Exchange theory is the belief that in a relationship you should never be giving more than you are getting. Your good behavior, kind gestures, acts of love and so forth, should always be reciprocated with the same enthusiasm and to the same extent that you preform them. Treat others how you want to be treated, except reversed to say others should treat you how you want to be treated, because you did so for them. This theory seems to me to be toxic. Most individuals want to get the best results and increase the benefits that they will receive, without exerting too much time, or energy. One example of this theory is arranged marriages. An arranged marriage will mostly benefit the family, their social standing may increase, and they may receive compensation in return for the marriage. However, their child that has been arranged to be married loses out. 

Symbolic interaction theory attempts to explain the way that individuals find the meaning behind interactions they have with others. As humans, we all interpret interaction in different ways, but our brains still try to figure out what every single detail of an interaction means. As children we learn what the body language of our family is and we learn to pick up when they are happy, stressed, or sad. A child may observe that their mother is happy when she is chatting extensively on the phone with a friend. On the other hand, they observe that their father is stressed when he comes home from work with few words to say. Physical interaction is picked apart piece by piece by our brains as we try to understand how someone is feeling. One wife may notice that when her husband leaves for work every day he kisses her goodbye. But today he didn’t, what did she do wrong? In what areas is she not doing enough? Was it something she said? While being dropped off from a second date you notice that the boy you went out with hugs you a little longer than last time. Does he like me? Are we to be married in the morning and live happily ever after with seven children? You may never know.

These theories reign true in my own family units as well as many others. Theories like these help me to understand not only myself and my actions and reactions better, but also those of my friends and family. 

See you next week!